does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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