yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
