I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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