So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
