would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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