Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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