The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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