I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
My feet surprised me
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