would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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