I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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