He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
