i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
