I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he was CRYING into my vagina
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
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