Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
