Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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