i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
