someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
