he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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