my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
