I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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