Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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