How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
