note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
