Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
