the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
