I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
