so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
