Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
