In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
