if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
