just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
