Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
