People with herpes should wear stickers.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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