Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
