Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
