I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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