I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
