Life is so much better after having sex.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
