I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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