After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
