i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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