I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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