Dual....:-)
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
