ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
