I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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