He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
