I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
