why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
