I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
