I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Everything about him screamed your future.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
