Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
