They should really pass out barf bags in church
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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